"Today, I turn five. And tomorrow is always another adventure that life brings, always I wonder what it shall bring. To chilly camping in Yosemite, a boorish office day, or a leisure trip to the park. The best part really, is when my Mama Kat comes home from an airport called Burbank. Happy Birthday to me, the little furball with a black birthmark (on my balls). So come and visit me, ya'll."

Nick, you're the bestest friend anyone could ever ask for. Even if you have accidents and are a needy little bastard, I will love you for only another 5 years unless you start growing nicer hair that I don't need to brush every frikkin' day, prissy boy. Gosh.