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Wherever you go, there you are.

Month: October 2005

harrowing ten hour day at work. and it doesn't seem like it's going to let up for the next week. now i celebrate impending catastrophe at jerry's deli, devouring a strawberry sundae, leeching off unsecured wireless internet from the neighbors in sherman oaks.

bizarre how we have these roles to fulfill, and even better is having the ability to question it. imagine - do animals ever question the complexity of their natural social structure? nature has it's own enforcers in place, and the rules are quite clear: either you are, or you aren't. not everyone can be the top dog, not everyone can play the role of the queen bee. and sooner or later, somebody gets eaten.

who decides who becomes a farmer, who decides who becomes a nerd like bill gates? and sooner or later, somebody has to pay their taxes. sooner or later, somebody has to pay for something. we have all these roles to fulfill, but in the case of a questioning mind, the world can be painted many a different shade depending on the stroke of the tongue, the direction of your logic. at what point, do we start complicating things that aren't really that complicated? when things aren't complicated or when you throw your arms up in surrender to succumb to the comforts of complacence, at what point have you denied yourself the truth? what is, the real value of the truth? perhaps it's also a leap of faith, to believe that there is one to begin with. or maybe, at the end of the day, the only truth is what we decide what can be, real.

just came back from the black crowes gig at the henry fonda theater. good stuff! ben harper came out for the encore, and i left with a 3-disc CD of the show. that was a pretty damn good gig, and i never regret going to these kinds of gigs alone if i have to.

randomly browsing through wikipedia, i stumbled on the smashing pumpkins. and now they're playing on itunes. there really isn't anything else that pacifies me the way siamese dream does; i'm hopelessly attached to everything about the album and the songs. it's one of those mysteries, of the beautiful kind.. like how i met the little hurricane. :)

the refrigerator doesn't smell like it's happy that i've been gone for two weeks.

i ended up at the gas station sitting right next to my hotel for a smoked turkey and cheese sandwhich, coupled with a cold glass of chocolate milk. 'dinner of champions!' i exclaimed, as the guy behind the counter let out a guffaw.

when the clock hits ten-thirty, what really matters? except for the simplest pleasures of life. chocolate milk, and a warm bed. a hug, would be nice too.

i'm booking itineraries like a madman on expedia corporate. i don't think i've ever been gone for this long, and it's only the third week - and i'll be gone for one more month. i can't even believe this. i might as well pack all my earthly goods in a suitcase.

i never talked about what happened to me last sunday, when i checked in my original hotel as planned. in all the places, spots and crevices that i've been known to sleep on and make do with my happy-go-lucky disposition, i've never had anything like that. the room was not clean when i checked in, and the hotel seriously needed to be soaked in lysol. when you're scared of taking a shower because you feel like it's dirtier to take one, then you really know you're in a bad spot. it was pretty ghetto. lovely!

small hoppety skips, little skippety beats. beyond qualifications of amusement, i lose my breath all over again..

it's only been two weeks, but i feel like i haven't been home in forever and a day. i wakeup in mid-dream sequences, trying to remember the firmness of my bed, and try to brush off the clean albeit foreign scent of hotel sheets. i guess they call it namamahay, when you're not used to sleeping in a different spot.

along the years of random displacement, my perceptions of home have been freed from constraining the concept to a location. i'm sure the same goes for the rest of us. my notions of home have been dismantled into less tangible emotions, found in the food we eat, the music we share, the moments we create.

and lately, i've been hoping that at the end of piece-mealing all our adventures together, we find ourselves in the quiet solitude of truly being who we are, when we are, what we are. it's so easy to complicate silly things like being happy. but it's such a great mystery, watching it all unfold. cheerios to the weekend, brother bears.

come rest your bones with me, wrap up the troubles of the world. laughing up lines, misery folds up when our hello's never really meet the goodbye's..

boy, i'm getting older.

chalk one up for travel disasters. i thought the worst was over when i miraculously found a hotel for tonight (i still don't know where i'm staying tomorrow till friday) because all the hotels are booked solid. and so i get to the airport, make my way to the rental car facility, and find out that my rental car is in a different airport an hour away. fine, i'll pay the cab fare and make my way over, but in murphy's law fashion, i called the place up and there were no cars on the lot.

the lot was empty. as if that weren't enough, there were three other people who had reservations, waiting for car returns. and at the airport i was at, all other car rentals were stripped clean. all car rentals and hotels, up until the weekend.

so i take a cab to my hotel, and thank my stars that at least i had a place to stay tonight. i go into my routine of chatting up the cabbie, when all of a sudden the popos pull us over. "was i speeding? did i do anything wrong?" the cabbie exclaims to me as the cops flash us with their lights. i was caught off guard, since he wasn't doing anything. "i think i'm going to jail." i quietly put on my seatbelt in the back, and an officer comes up.

"i scanned your plates. you have a warrant." so, great, right. i'm stuck in the middle of nowhere with a cabbie that has a warrant for his arrest. he's going to jail! for all i know, he's a cold blooded rapist and/or killer and/or accountant.

turns out that he needed to pay his bondsman for bail, for a warrant that took effect today. he had to pay a $475 bond for impeding traffic or some stupid violation like that, and i believe he was going to take care of it tonight as well. but, alas, luck doesn't befall any of us tonight.

anyway i don't want to bore with the details, i'm just glad i'm somewhere with a bed and a shower. and i might add, i've never been in a hotel room as big as this one i'm in. the ceiling is probably 15 feet up, and there's an adjacent living room and dining area. it's kinda creepy, actually, because the place is really really dim with a slight hint of the musky aroma reminiscent of cockroaches from hell (AKA manila). i feel like i'm in an abandoned castle in a cheese-ball disney cartoon movie.

there was a lady and her kid in the lobby inquiring about availability, and all hotels in the city within a 50 mile radius are booked solid. i felt bad. with all this space, we can fit 15 people in here. but that would mean i can't prance around in my underwear.

thoughts of me in my underwear. now, isn't that refreshing? i'm starting to fall off my rocker. after spilling coffee all over myself and losing my rental car and getting stuck in a cab with a driver who's going to jail... at the end of the day, all i really want to do is crawl underneath the sheets. like what i said earlier this morning. sleep comes, after blogging of course. :P

i held a steaming cup of vanilla latte by the rim in the elevator this morning, which suddenly collapsed and out splashed coffee all over my shirt and slacks. as if that weren't bad enough, the chocolate croissant i got was stale!

can't have all mornings, i guess. i want to take a shower. or crawl back underneath the sheets like a lazy sunday cat.

i thought travelling for work would be awesome possum, but i quickly realise that booking my own flights et al can be a real pain in the gluts. i'm booked for houston the rest of the month, but due to the wonderful forces of nature all hotels are ridiculously booked from those that have fled katrina's path from neighboring new orleans. i have a headache and now i can't feel my toes.

after this month, maybe i'll start talking to y'all like this. rad.



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