okay man, i'm feeling really uninspired. i've hit that point where the lull of the moment manages to manifest itself even through the day, a sad extension of the negative energy that is always present when i grope around my bed to hit my phone's snooze button. i just don't want to wake up. i open my eyes, and i don't feel like accomplishing anything for the day. man, i need to find something to fuel my fire. but what's sad about it, is that i understand what's causing my gloom.

the nerd in me is disappointed that i've been with citibank for a number of months, but i didn't take it upon myself to learn as much as i could about it. i really want to join those random trainings for anything. learning new stuff is definitely precious, and sitting around doing repetitive things is not really condusive to my perception of the importance of the time i'm spending right now in my early 20's. i want to absorb everything, but i'm just too goddamn lazy to actually raise my hand and tell myself HEY, what is going on?

actually, the big boss tasked me to write this simple but very very thorough paper. i'm pretty sure its some sort of gauge, but for some reason i'm really uncomfortable with it. i have the blocks i need to work with, but i'm disappointed with myself for having this generally apathetic front when inside, its really toiling and bubbling my insides out.

i can't wait for this weekend. yep. but tomorrow's always another day.