Hello, Lovine.com

when you come across the details of your life, is there some sort of general pattern where you can harvest a theme and direction you are bound to take? having put together pieces of the missing puzzle gives you the ability to somewhat make an intelligent guess as to what your next course of action would be, in the same way that you can infer which part of the picture is still missing based on what you already have.

the problem is, that the picture is not always really clear. for all you know, you were handed an abstract salvador dali-esque puzzle to complete. for all you know, it could only be solved in the third dimension when you've only been looking at two. for all you know, there might not even be an answer... only what you choose to make out of those missing pieces.

i wonder if people ever think of the everlasting consequences of seemingly fleeting actions. simple strokes of the pen, a click of the shutter, a simple hug, a kiss, or even a small wave goodbye (paul). what exists mere moments in a physical plane of linear progression, can also live infinitely outside that physical constraint. once it lays a golden touch to your memory, or (pardon the cheese) your heart, then there's no turning back.

we dance around naked underneath our clothes, rivers of saline flow from our pains, the years tick away, and tomorrow we pass on. we touch other people's lives, while others do the same to us. we are unconsciously painting our pictures, singing our songs, writing the poems of our lives. does the songwriter ever know how many will listen to the song quietly, in a lonely stupor? did jeff buckley know? did ebe dancel? ... did you? the small details are the fabric of our lives. always seen and felt but often overlooked. yet underneath it all lies a pure, true, naked you.

is it true that you cannot appreciate pleasure, without first appreciating pain? as mikkel would advise, "get your heart broken!". as lovine would advise, "jump with me into a freezing pool at 3 in the morning! you cannot feel pleasure without feeling pain!". as buddha would advise, "get rid of all wants and all needs! reach for zen!". well, all's well that end's well. well well well.

amazing aurora the past few days. check out the pictures at spaceweather.com. too bad i live in a place too comfortable to see them. i wish i could spend a month or two during the height of the winter season in a cold dry isolated place far far away from city lights where i could sit in a little ball of solace and admire the dancing lights. just thinking about it gives me goosebumps. but as much as it being a spiritual experience for me, it would be better to share that moment with a good friend. its just that, nobody really thinks sitting their ass out in the cold is a damn good adventure.

when i'm dead, i'll fly my asian butt over to the next planet with a view of nebulae, mid-sequence supernovas, perpetual aurora borealis, and enjoy a steaming cup of hot chocolate with other friends from beyond. how rad would that be? well, that's pretty much heaven i guess.

orange juice makes me more thirsty and i don't know why. it's been a long day. boy, i'm pooped.

life is too short not to dance. well, i'm hoping that people don't laugh at me, but laugh with me. it's all one big joke anyway. life is too short to quantify everything. shutup, while i try to convince myself.

listening to kings of convenience. lovely, lovely band. especially when it's the middle of the night and you're nursing a slight headache, thinking of how long you could pretend that your whole life is a joke and get away with acting like an idiot. not because you unnecessarily complicate things and sell-out with trying to comedy everything, but because you really shouldn't let it get your goat. really.

sometimes you just have to let go, and gyrate your hips. especially if you're hot. please?

i just got back from a great weekend at vegas. i spent two days at the SEMA convention which is pretty much the biggest automotive convention on earth. big, fast, powerful, and sexy - i tried to see as much as my little legs could carry me across the gargantuan expanse of the convention area. there are two sets of pictures, one for cars and the other for the models. click here for the models! you know you want to.

i stayed with vince, and the bastard sat me in through my first poker table experience. i blew 60 bucks the first time i sat down, but got revenge when i turned a low of $6 into $140 in a dramatic and obviously lucky turnaround. you win some, you lose some i guess.

what does a burning matchstick look like in zero gravity?

edit: pictures are up!

happy halloween, suckers. :)

i'm back up at sanfo to visit nannoo. it was a fairly quick drive up with pontrelli- i'm blessed to have very patient friends, as she didn't mind my mindless ranting and horrid song-bird renditions on 5 hours of road. i can get fairly annoying and require a few slaps to snap me out of it. anyway, we had dinner with kathryn at this restaurant where we had an incredibly gorgeous waitress that i wanted to marry. monique, was her name. i felt like i had a beehive of butterflies for dinner instead of ribs. hi, i'm a loser.

i need to buy my costume at the grocery. i hope it works out. i'm not sure if i'll pull it off, but lets see when the pictures come out. i was considering wrapping my frail delicate naked asian ass into a roll of suran-wrap, but i figure it would be disastrous if i needed to go pee. or poop. or you could look at it as an interesting consumption-junction phenomenon. i'm in san francisco anyway, i'll blend right in. but scrap that, i'm sticking with plan A.

all for love - starring mic tatad and gopwet. guaranteed to make your morning, or your money back :)

lovine: monkey monkey anabel..

lovine: how many monkeys do you see?

lovine: and a riki tiki tik

lovine: and a blue black sheep

notoryuz: tangina

notoryuz: nakakairita ung monkey

notoryuz: is it true, yes or no

notoryuz: Y E S ALES!

notoryuz: N o and out you go

lovine: HAHAAHHA!

i don't want to quantify my life by how fat my paycheck is, how many miles i can run, how many beers i can drink. i don't want to count instances, rely on false perceptions of happiness that are fleeting. i don't want to pretend like everyone else, or worse, get so caught up in pretending that it becomes a real manifestation... that soon enough, pretending is all that i would ever know.

an adventure brews along the horizon.

lovine: jo? what does it mean when someone tells you "you're patronizing."

jo: hmmm, i think it's like your insulting them with kindness.

jo: like giving them too much leeway or explanation, hence, implying that they're dumb

lovine: oh shit.

i forget the taste of sweetness, until i had chocolate cake today. i'm really glad that you can always retreat to the simple pleasures of life. everything doesn't have to be so complicated, especially when you're enjoying the moment. moo!

in my head is an influx of convoluted reasons, theories, and mechanisms that is rapidly trying to assemble blocks of my perceived reality in a vapid attempt to make sense of phony structures bolted around my aimlessly wandering life. i may fall on my face and spent countless hours contemplating the metaphysics and meaning of a split-second moment, but in the end i'll always stand up, laugh, brush the dirt, and walk on into the next. right now i wonder if i'm spending more time trying to be careful about my life than trying to actually enjoy it. but like everything else, that thought never really holds itself if i spend an extra second on hindsight.

while i lie wide awake in the middle of the night, the rest of the world sleep gently in their solace.