i need something to pacify me, and bring me out of this slump i'm in. i don't know if it's the idleness of being a bum, or the emotional turmoil thats starting to brew in me. i think i've trapped myself by sub-consciously allowing therese to be such a big part of my life, i can't function with these hangups that come with the package. but i'm not saying that i regret having her as part of me, i guess i'm just realizing the whole significance of it all. she's my bestest friend in the world, and i love her dearly, but recently i'm allowing myself to act differently for reasons i'm not even sure of. i'm successfully adding unnecessary strains in our friendship.. i just want to stop being an asshole, and just be me. funny how i can't even get a grip on that one. if i were my own friend, i'd bonk myself over the head. a million times.