VITO APOLLO quite literally landed into my arms during the night of April 4, in what turned out to be an unassisted, unattended homebirth – just me, Kat, and this special one.
We of course did not plan it to unfold this way, but as they say.. life moves pretty fast. There was no time to think, no time to panic.
I’ll never forget the birthing sounds Kat was making in the living room while I took Nickel out to pee. Telling him to hurry up and finish while birthing sounds reverberated throughout the garden. As soon as we get back inside, Kat moaned “I can feel the head”. I mumbled something about it not being true – she hasn’t even been pushing – but she dove back into another powerful wave, and upon closer inspection… she was right. It’s literally like your life flashes before your eyes. All the moments you’ve doubted yourself and said you weren’t good enough and all the moments of youth when you narrowly escape disaster. And you tell yourself, no. This time, I am good enough. And this is the time to make it matter. Time stops when you’re cradling the head of your baby, while the rest of his body is still inside. You pray to high heavens to guide you through this. We are together. This bond is unbreakable. At this moment, and the millions of years and births that have come before.
By the grace of all that is good and great in this world, this baby boy full of life, VITO APOLLO (Mato asking the moon for a sibling since he was 3), came out beautiful and healthy. I could not be more thankful.
I’ll save the other bloody details offline. A traditional birth is nothing short of amazing. Just to see with your own eyes what a mother goes through, a reminder to the rest of us where we all come from. The human body, and how everything comes together is mind blowing. I am not religious, but am extremely blessed that the universe has given my family this gift. To say that I love them to the moon and back would be an understatement. We are nobody without each other.
Always remember – there is no beauty in this world without its mothers. And I can only hope to let this family know that I love them as much as the universe has said it loved me.