i don't care, anymore.
except for the other things that matter.
Hello, Lovine.com
Wherever you go, there you are.
i started this blog four years ago, an empty slate to jog my memory and exercise my thoughts. when hundreds of thoughts run through your head during the day, so much can be kept or so much can be lost to the routines of responsibility. and so i sat myself down every couple of days to do some soul stretching of sorts. it felt like that workout when you've been dormant for awhile, and discover a few places you never knew existed because they start smarting a few days later. it's the same pain of discovery because i never really wrote.. when you're in the final throes of collegiate tomfoolery, any random outlet of expression becomes fair game. and so i kept writing. when i felt like it. what i felt like writing. to express simple sentiments. to play with conjectures of reason. to have fun. to make something. to take ownership of my lost thoughts.
life is a warm vinyl record filling the room. across walls of orange toned photographs and watercolor forests, pencil sketches and album covers. sitting on the foot of the bed. or dancing. nothing in tow but sincerity, no promises except for getting drunk on high spirits. mysteries never ready to reveal, curiosity that is never lonely. sun jars glowing on the balcony, home-made melodies that last well beyond the night's slumber.
happy st. patrick's day! cheers to friends, old and new, young and old, tomorrow and yesterday, and everything in between!
i got lost for a few seconds tonight while i strummed a few notes on the guitar that hasn't sang in a while. i whispered a few words into someone's sleepy dream. and for a few seconds i felt that i was really communicating something. no matter if the audience had been asleep, or the notes were off kilter. but the reality of what i wanted to say was how it came out. quite rare, considering i maintain a constant struggle to validate abstract thoughts and feelings into jumbled words, pixelated images, random knickknacks that never really answer the questions posed by my mind's imagery. but for a few seconds tonight, i found my own footing. and quite apt, that half of it was shared in a dream..
had a little early spring cleaning going on the past few weekends. lots more work to do, especially with my spurts of compulsive cleaning, followed by bouts of reckless abandon..
caught up on sleep last night, but went a bit too far. 12 hours in the bunker has me sporting a nasty headache. like how another shot is the cure for your hangover, i think another catnap is in the works.
quiapo, philippines. 2007.
i met a middle-aged couple at the airline lounge before i left manila, and had an interesting conversation about our backgrounds, and a little insight about their 25-year old son. the guy was dating a russian hottie, and from the mom's perspective, wasn't really a good idea because of how the sitation played out - they met randomly in california while she was traveling with a bunch of other friends. the girls came with no money, no plans, and no intentions. and hence comes the couple's son, where from the mom's perspective he has the achilles heel of falling in love too fast and spends too much money on his ladies. spending all his money with no career path in sight, and trying to pursue the dream of a musician's slumber in the heart of california. i didn't really explain well, but i figured on reassuring the couple that it's only a matter of time before the pieces should fit for their son while he's in the middle of a career fog fairly typical of our generation, as this piece forwarded to me by jj attests to the brews of a quarter life crisis.
the randomness of traveling alone. i like.
what i also like about coming home to manila is being able to be a transparent observer, watching people as they come and go, as they dance and play. in such a small social environment, it's almost impossible not to connect lines to the dots to the everything in between. partly one of the reasons why i also prefer not having any definite plans, to allow chance encounters that always chalk up to the books like an instant classic. like... tonight, i guess.
i didn't get the chance to see all that i would've wanted to see, and spend time with everyone that i wanted to spend time with, but everyone is running their own race. am just fortunate enough to meet the awesome souls that i've met and kept in touch with over the years. many, many more years to come.
came from the video launch of outerhope. really awesome band, i'm glad i got to see them live (finally). i really want to make their buttons, dammit.
tomorrow is back on the plane to the land of capitalistic dreams (or nightmares, what have you). can't wait for the weekend :)
