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Year: 2005

everyone's trying to break the mold and jump out of a pidgeon hole, while vesting enough slack to wade in the pool with everyone else. hey, look at me! i'm just like you. there are some people that drown themselves in 'me' talk, while the rare few do nothing but listen as you crack open your defenses and expose yourself. you crown them friend by virtue of their open ear, without even really knowing who they are. this allows unfiltered assumptions take hold, and i really don't know what the shnizzle i'm talking about right now. quite a dumping ground for that urge to figuratively stick your neck out a little bit more, stretch a few noodles and be silly only because you can afford to be, without endangering anyone's space.

apparently, ants are resilient to microwaves. might be my imagination, but after a healthy dosage of high powered zapping, their antennae seem tightly bristled and pace frantically around the cubic interior. the musings of a guy with the curiosity of a cat. too bad i'm not evil enough to microwave my sister's goldfish. hehe.. oh, hello elmo.

heaven as a splendid plethora of spiritual zen. of all good things eternal, of salvation and contentment. heaven, what it boils down to, is having alicia keys sitting on my left thigh.. and jennifer love hewitt on my right... and throw in brooke burke massaging my back for good measure. whew.

back up a little bit, have a little space to stretch arms. look up at the stars and take a breathe of silver sky, close eyes slowly and sink right back into consciousness. to be aware of the grass between the toes, warm body taut against the cold night shimmer. on top of a lonely hill, a dance against hazy uncertainties but dreams remain afloat.

maybe the stars aren't exactly aligned right now, and who really knows for certain what tomorrow brings? the sandman gives the gift of slumber, but fortunes and dreams are gifts bourne of your own wings.

for the past two nights, i've been spending some time going through personal tsunami encounters, pictures, and video before i go to bed. it's a reminder of nature's unwavering control and power. however, what bothers me is not the force of nature, but the tragedy of thousands of lives that are changed in an instant.

when i finally decide to call it a night, i try to count my blessings. for each life that was lost, is a friend, brother, sister, parent, a loved one lost. 160,000 is just a number, but the implications of that are staggering. man, this is absurdly horrid. i feel.. unreal. at what point in our lives do we really wake up? hopefully, not when one of it ends.

our christmas tree sits idly, a scatters of shed leaves testament to the passing seasons. it's weird knowing that the 'christmas smell' of a live douglas fir tree comes at the price of its life. an icon of the yuletide season denied the fact that it is slowly dying, forever masked by the bright lights, shiny balls and the avalanche of gifts it holds in its slumber. but when the wrapping has been torn, and the days turn into weeks, the leaves begin to wilt and fall.

it's that time of passing seasons that pave the way to new beginnings.

something that was sent my way, origins unknown: To kinder gods and fiercer loves, to wild abandonments and gentle moments, to wine, to sunsets and to passion, to new beginnings and revolutions. Cheers.

have a great new year, everybody. :)

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